As CQ (expressive and receptive communication intelligence) is a guide to getting what you want, and at the same time helping others get what they want, it really is also a recipe for effective negotiation. I believe it is rather imperative to start with an understanding of how to negotiate with yourself.
1. What is your intention?
2. What are you willing to give up?
Once these two questions have been answered, I find all else starts to fall into place. I then try and find out:
3. What is the intention of the ‘other’?
4. Where they are willing to start at, or give up?
This allows for a transparent start and then more than likely a fair result.
Here is an example to help illustrate these basics of how to negotiate:
Client says: “I want XYZ.”
My response would be: “Fantastic, as we can do that. However, what is your budget?”
Client might say: “Well, I want to see what your budget is to make a decision.”
My response to that, and feeling, is always: “Why would we start with the unknowns or a guessing game? Help me understand the budget and I can help you immediately see whether we are the right fit or not. That way neither of us wastes a moment of time.”
If the client is someone who will philosophically fit then they get my sentiments immediately. If not, they pretty much aren’t a good fit. Now, if they have no idea what to budget, that is an entirely different story. In that case, I’d help them understand various budget options based on similar case studies. I feel this same approach works for me in nearly every situation, whether it’s negotiating with my godchildren, or family, or close friends, or even myself. It really does work. Try it out.