I have found that I don’t really get to know someone unless they are in their darkest or lightest hours. The grey hour doesn’t show anything apart from good lighting.
I have also found I only got to know myself in my darkest or lightest hour.
The manic within all of us points to the truth.
The truth in all of us points to the yearning of happiness.
As an immigrant, I find relating to someone requires the awareness to be able to relate to anyone. Fortunately, I seem to have been born deficient in a few ways:
I don’t see gender
I don’t see color
I don’t see age
And I certainly don’t understand location or directions.
Therefore, apart from being challenged to some, I am receptive to all.
I had the fortune of spending a couple of hours yesterday with someone I hadn’t seen in over 25 years. Writer and Zimbabwean, Peter Godwin. We yapped; we teared up; we spoke in unison; we spoke our truth. His love for his craft, his wife, his family, his birthplace and his next act in life is contagious. We spoke about masking. I am allergic to negativity so this seems to help with lessening drama in my life. The people who have mastered the “masking” ability freak me out a little bit, in particular the deep cases which become pathological, but I am fortunate to have these beings as mere passing visitors reminding me to wake up, be aware and be accountable.
So, my feelings are that the CQ of Relating to People is really about how you relate to yourself first. Do you know who you are in your darkest hour? Lightest hour? Are you the same with all you interact with including your most intimate? Do you realize when you are different? Do you communicate your truth as a preface before ‘barking’ at someone? Do you feel your head in relation to your heart?
If yes, enjoy.
If not, enjoy the travel of learning to relate to yourself, and then… relating to others.
Be well,
-c x
I’m fascinated by the suggested juxtaposition that being challenged has a positive effect on communication, as its blocking mechanism actually opens you to all.
Does this mean that by not being influenced by detail, i.e. not seeing gender, color, age, allows you a clearer picture of the principle? i.e. lies or truth, genuine or two-faced, understanding or aggressive,
In my experience, principle points are usually more accurate and convincing than detail, so perhaps there’s a connection here, especially when it comes to head or heart?
I’ve a feeling that my head holds the principles and my heart the detail, so if my theory has any merit, I’d better communicate with my head.